Dear my Amir Fahim...

ENTRY MODE: Luahan Perasan Seorang Ibu...

Dear Fahim,

I think it is understandable that you have the instinct that your little bro/sis will arrive in 14 days. I do understand your feeling right now. Fahim baru 1 and half years and soon going to be a brother. I'm sorry sayang, tapi ni rezeki Allah bagi pada kita.

You know right, how did I suffer when I faced two miscarriages? tapi, berkat kesabaran Mama, doa n support from Abah and Kakak Aina, I finally have you in my arms...

I do understand sayang why do you behave strangely these few days... you become very sensitive, selalu duga kesabaran Mama, and all you need is a full attention from me..

I can't and I refuse to imagine, how it's gonna be when the baby is arrived? I keep on wondering, are you going to behave and act like this as well?

Fahim,

Trust me sayang, whatever will come.. I always love and care about you, as I always do.. nothing will change.

I told you... I'm not gonna share my love and care to the three of you.. but there will be another LOVE in our life..kita tak berkongsi syg, ada cinta baru dalam hidup kita...and each and every one will get full attention, love and care from me and Abah.. and this is what I told Kakak Aina when you arrived!

Insya Allah..

Mama tau Allah akan bantu kite...

So Fahim... jangan buat Mama nangis lagi ya.. Mama nak Fahim faham...

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I'm sorry, Fahim

Today, I feel like I'm a useless mother...

... due to my last minutes marking, I had to send Fahim to his nanny as early as 8.40am

I picked him up at 6.30pm when I was done marking...

... it happened that he acted a bit strange when he reached home

I scolded him as he was a bit naughtier

... he did it again and again... and I almost lost my patience

He jumped on the bed even though I warned him

... he just ignored me and this wasn't how he normally responded

He called his Abah few times, but Abah didn't reply

... maybe he was too tired (but still I don't accept that as a reason)

His father went to buy dinner

...he chased him while calling his Abah again and again from the bed

In a glance, he slipped his feet

... he fell down and he hit the edge of the bed and cried

And I took him in my arms

... I saw BLOOD all over his shirt!!!

...there was BLOOD in his mouth!!!

I cried, he cried, Aina cried

...Im so sorry Fahim, truly sorry

I shouldn't have left and scolded you

...I should have looked after you

Now, I feel like I hate everyone

... specially me, myself!

..as I'm a useless mother!

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Duhai Hati...kenapa ni?

Semalam MC, spend masa kat uma dgn AinaFahim.

Hari ni, keja dah..dok ngadap paper exam...smpi rasa nk termuntah!

Hati ingat kat rumah jek..ingat kat Aina, ingat kat adik Fahim..

Rindunyer...nk tgk senyum Fahim, gelak Aina..

Terbayang-bayang... Fahim terkedek2 jalan n melompat-lompat. Kakak Aina bersungguh2 baca Peter & Jane.

Ya Allah...lindungilah anak2 ku..suamiku..walau di mana pun mereka bereka..walau apepun yg diorg tgk buat...

Duhai hati... aku rindu!

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AKU? Makin slow...

Huhu...one of students complained "Tchr, why cant u walk faster like before?"...nk jer aku lempang budak ni.. but the truth is..Yes, I am a slow walker now.. especially today. I think my baby is already engaged.. and I can feel it specially when I make any movements.

Tdo mlm dah tak selena sebelumnya.. mengadu kat hubby, and his typical reply is "nak buat camne syg, dah sampai masa. Baby dah besar". Huhuhu...luckily dia tak terus zzzz... teman aku jap, sampai aku terlena..mujur!

I'm counting my days now..4 weeks to go... still going strong even though I have to climb the stairs 4-5x per day..aduiii...may my baby will be even stronger and tougher than the mother. hhehe

Whatever it is...I love u, baby..all of us cant wait for the arrival of our 3rd bundle of joy!

Just another completion of the family..

...and another PERFECTION OF LIFE!

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AINA & FAHIM: LATEST PICTURES!

AMIR FAHIM turns 1 year and 5 months now!

AINA UMAIRAH is going to her Tadika Iman now!

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I'm finally back..after a long..long break!

Waaargghhh... it has been years I didn't update my blog..seriously. Berhabuk n bersawang dah!

Anyway, thank you very much to Puan Olynn, who inspired me to update this blog...in the most peak hours of my career time (marking time!)

What's new?

Hmmm....guess what, I'm now expecting my 3rd bundle of joy, will be coming out from the hot oven on this coming 15th December. So, pray hard for the safety and good health of both of us. One of my wishes, I hope that I'm going to have a quick recovery so that I can enjoy my 90 days of confinement period with full of joys!

My Fahim turns 1 year and 5 months, he's getting hotter (*wink), smarter, more active and of coz..naughtier! But, he brings a lot of cherish and joys..and this is what I called Perfection of Life, raising a baby boy and a baby girl is a big different for me..more challenges and patience need to be mixed together...

I am super duper lucky to have Kakak Aina who turns 5 years old now... she is my PA, my BFF, my helper.. She knows how to entertain Fahim when I am too tired or when I am in the middle of something... tq dear..and as her 'upah'... a big kiss on her cheeck. I luv u dear..and always do...

K, that's all for the intro today...get back to my kerja hakiki...MARKING! so shhhhh!!!

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FOR THOSE WHO I LOVE THE MOST...

Semoga Abadi

Kau datang bagaikan mimpi
Kau hadir daku sedari
Sekian lama kunanti
Kau di sini

Mungkin kehendak Ilahi
Segalanya kujalani
Biar lelap tidurmu
Dipelukku

Cinta ini
Kupersembahkan
Setulus hati kasih
Kepadamu
Seandainya engkau mengerti
Hanya kau kumiliki
Dalam hidupku

Kasih sayang ini
Semoga abadi
Kan kubawa sampai akhir nanti

::fahim+mama+abah+aina::

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This is what I called PURRR-FECT!

How time flies without realizing it has been 38th day of my confinement...and one thing for sure Amir Fahim is now 1 month plus...syukur!

Life is so perfect when every single angle of my heart is filled with full of love. I do have a caring, resposible and loving hubby, a cute, smart and active daughter and also my new born baby boy who becomes the completion of my family. To have a daughter and a son..is enough for me to enjoy the life as a mother.

Syukur, Im totally grateful and thankful to Him..after waiting for almost 4 years, facing 2 dreadful miscarriages and after spending thousands for the treatment...now I have him in my arms... We are so so so happy to welcome Amir fahim to our life... and yes, he is the completion of the family.

I wish... my kids will be healthy all the time, may they grow up to be the wise people, succeed in life here after and obey to Allah and their parents, love each other and understand each other very well...Amin..

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Introducing...

The new family member..
The completion of the family...
The most precious gift for my 30th birthday...

AMIR FAHIM B. KAMARUL NADZRI

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I'M BACK... after such a long break...

Syukur, Alhamdullilah..

It has been such a long..long...long time I didn't update anything in this blog..
So, many things to share..so many updates!

...and I'm now stepping to a new phase of my life...




*will update more soon..

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Good Bye 2009, Hello 2010 and the greatest gift of all.

Salam n hello everyone...

Time passed by and we finally kissed good bye to 2009 and then start to say hello and hi welcoming 2010.

All the ups and downs during 2009... were finally encouraged me to be a better person..

Last December 2, 2009 was my 4th wedding anniversary with my beloved Mr. Husband..
Kamarul Nadzri. I'm so so so grateful and thankful to love and to be loved by you .

And as the greatest gift for us for this anniversary, I am confirmed to be pregnant to our 2nd child! Alhamdullilah, the greatest and biggest gift on the Earth given by Him for me, B and Aina Umairah.

Thank you Allah for giving me this happiness that I have prayed for years...

May everything is going to be safe, fine and alright for me and this baby.. and B and Kakak Aina Umairah...

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Majlis Graduasi MRSM Muar Kali ke-23

Al-kindians with the gorgeous one..hehhe

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My Master Piece... hebat!!!

* For the VVIP guest book..

The cover page of Majlis Graduasi MRSM Muar 2009


WAHHH!!!

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A NEW FAMILY MEMBER..Muhammad Haziqq Haqim..

Welcome sayang to our life...

We love you so much...and Kakak Aina is the most happiest girl on Earth to welcome you...

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Latest Updates...

Salam n gud day!

Byk sgt keja ..busy sgt2.. taksempat nak update... damn busy lately... so here are some info and thoughts to share...

SPM 2009

Budak2 still bole relax lagi. Aku pulak yang dah agak seram... walaupun syllabus dah abis cover, still rasa cam bykkkk sgt yg diorg tak tau. Sampai tidur malam pun tak lena..terbawak2 mimpi. Bagi past years papers, aku bagi..aku yg buat..aku yg bagi answers. Diorg? relax jer! Bagus..bagus..

AINA UMAIRAH

Hmm..citer pasal anak dara sorg nie, 3 hari 3 malam pun tak akan abis citer. She's getting smarter, more talkative, dah pandai complain, dah bijak demanding n dah pandai tolong kemas rumah. Aina dah dapat sorang adik lelaki, Muhammad Haziqq Hakim.. anak Mak Ngah dia... Alhamdullilah.

Malam tadi, aku bawak dia g sekolah. Ada kelas kat library. Satu library dia pusing. semua buku dia selak..tgk gmbr. Bising sangat mulut dia... budak2 dalam library tu...hmmm mmg dah tak jadi study. Melayan si Aina.. kakak..kakak...

LOST & FOUND

Byk sgt barang yang lost tapi tak found...huhuhuh. Antaranya, cincin nikah, cincin tunang, n cincin white gold aku (bertatahkan berlian tu). Aku percaya sgt aku misplaced. Bukan hilang. Aku tau semua cincin tu ada somewhere kat umah aku. Bila nak jumpa nie...

Yang dah found, beberapa kawan aku yg menyepi, yang berjaya la buat aku risau... Sakit ker? dah pindah ker? dah tukar department ker? tapi ...dah jumpa n tau dah keadaan diorg...syukur semua selamat... harap2 diorg tak buat lagi.. hopefully!

R&R session...

Kekadang aku rasa aku dah burnt out sgt dah. keja..keja...keja... Sampai masa untuk diri sendiri pun takde. Untuk Aina n Hubby pun dah terlalu limited. Kamarul pun sgt2 sibuk coz Petronas akan start Turn Around Period pada 24/10 nie. So, mmg la aku n Aina akan duduk uma sorg2...setiap mlm... sedey!!!! Takpe la kakak, abah keja carik rezeki untuk kita. Doa sgt2 Allah beri dia kekuatan dan kesihatan throughout T.A nie. Abis je T.A pada bulan 12 nanti, aku nak ajak Kamarul gie bercuti la..suruh dia amik off seminggu...n kebetulan pulak tgh cuti sekolah.

Destination, yet to be confirmed. But, i really need a break!!! mana la tau...pastu Aina dapat adik...hehhehe...amin...amin....


LAGI....

Dah la...sambung wat kerja...busy laaa (ayat yg aku selalu shgt dgr dari seseorg...benci!) hehehe

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MY BESTFRIEND, MY ENEMY, MY SOUL, MY LIFE, MY HALF...MY EVERYTHING!

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AIDILFITRI 2009 - TAIPING

* Love this picture very much... coz it was taken by Aina Umairah. Tq dear...

* Iman & maksu..

* Aina & Abah..ade ker pg2 raya dah nak ajak abah g beli aiskrim...

* Me and my half..

* Susah nak tgk Aina pakai baju kurung kan? Mama yg jahit naju tu, siap jahit manik lagi... :D

* Aina & Harith ( cute si Harith nie.. tapi susah nak dgr dia ckp Melayu..)

Salam...


It has been such a long time I didnt update anything...due to fasting month+ Trial SPM marking period...+ takde mood nak update..hehhe

Here are some pictures taken during Raya..and the most happiest person on Earth celebrating raya is of coz Aina Umairah. Since up till today, she gathered almost RM 731 for her duit raya.

She met a lot of sisters, brothers (her nieces and nephews) and friends... as she loves to make friends even though she's a bit selective when it comes to choose her friends...

We went back to Taiping on Friday's night on the 18th..and it took almost 9 hours journey to reach my PIL's house... we were so exhausted yet enjoyed the journey very much... We took turn to drive... even though it was a heavy jammed but... we managed to spend time together. And Aina had her complete and comfortable sleep time through out the journey.

This raya I have been requested by my SIL and my mother to cook and prepare the dishes for raya. Since, my SIL was on duty on Raya's night (she is a pediatrician and the husband is a surgeon)... so they only could reach home by raya morning. And my other SIL was on the way from JB... so, no choice, I have to cook!!!!

So, I prepared Meat Rendang, Ketupat and Kuah kacang. My father-in-law ate a lot! Walaupun dia takleh mkn daging sebenarnyer.. Apparently, everyone was happy with my cooking... Yey!!!

After solat, we wnet back to Kuala Kangsar to Wah's house... so happy there...meeting my relatives.. and a cute chubby Adif... bila la aku nak dapat baby boy nie? huhuhu

So, what's next.... to the next entry Aidilfitri 2009 - MUAR... soon

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TODAY IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN YESTERDAY...

Ok...today's update...

The revamping progress on what happened yesterday.

To prove that I am improving...TODAY.



1) Speed Limit = 80-90 kmh (better! n berhemah..)
2) Ran over the red lights = Not even once... GOOD :D
3) Overtook on the double line = 1 kali jer tu pun sebab ngantuk ikut belakang lori
4) Horn used inappropriately = Takde langsung... baik nyer Marlia
5) Cursing at other drivers = Never.. I smiled at them..hehhe
6) Seat belt usage = Yes..absolutely

WHEN I AM GOOD, I'M GOOD...
WHEN I AM BAD..I'M BETTER!!!

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I am a RECKLESS driver...

Ya Allah...

Ntah kenapa la pagi nie...aku rasa aku bwk kereta dgn sangat bahaya. I was a reckless driver! I didnt know why...

Nak kata lambat ...tak jugak... I left house at 7.10am.. as usual..

These are laws that I have broken this morning:

1) Speed Limit = 110-120 kmh (speed allowed = 80 kmh)
2) Ran over the red lights = 2x
3) Overtook on the double line = almost 6x...huhuhu...
(dah kereta n lorry tu lembab nak mamposs!)
4) Horn used inappropriately = 3x
5) Cursing at other drivers = UNCOUNTABLE (all my may to school...)
6) Seat belt usage = Nope!

What is wrong me? Apa nak jadi la dengan aku nie... Makin hari makin teruk...

Aku stress kut! huhuhu

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